Yesterday marked the official start of golf season in our house. There may have been frost on the greens in the morning but my husband and his friends were out of the house at 6am to get in their 18 holes. For those of you who now lose your husbands to golf on the weekends, here are the top signs (in our house) that golf season has begun:
- My husband starts making tee times in a hushed whisper, huddled into various corners of our house. He does this with as much secrecy and care as if he was calling a mistress and always looks startled and guilty when discovered.
- Every weekend I begin to hear, “Do I need to go to this birthday party?” “If I need to be gone one day, should it be Saturday or Sunday?” “How late can we be to this event/party?” “How about I just meet you there?”
- When doing laundry, score sheets, beer bottle caps and tees begin to fall out of pockets or turn up in the dryer.
- On any given Saturday or Sunday, he can be seen napping at 4pm in the recliner. When questioned, he will tell me that golf is exhausting and that he is not a young guy anymore. I will try not to roll my eyes…
- My husband is far from a complainer but I will begin to hear numerous complaints such as:
“I think I got windburn today.”
“I think I pulled something…”
“Walking 18 holes is exhausting.”
“Running the day before golf is a not a great idea.”
“It was too hot (too cold, too windy, too rainy…)”
“I got too much sun.”
- He looks like he has been assigned a weekend uniform of khaki shorts and a polo shirt.
- Not only will I hear stories about golf (how he did, who chocked on the 9th hole and sometimes even some amusing stories), but he will begin to watch every golf event on TV. Throughout the house, I will now hear the whisper of the golf announcer followed by the quiet, polite clapping of the crowd.